Co-parenting SUCKS and other things I'll get over
Today my daughters real dad called. He does this every once in awhile. He wants to see her and be a dad. Too bad he doesn't want to help me buy her clothes and shoes too as fast as she grows. Or help pay for school stuff. Oh well, she has a super dad that does help. So for the most part I do it by myself. Oh! and my huge village! :) I'm soooo lucky to have my village. I'm lucky to have a man who has fallen so in love with my daughter that he says she is his. If only he would fall in love with me like that.So her "real DAD" gives me a hard time because I can't cater to his schedule nor do I care to.
Eventually it leads to him cussing at me and calling me a bad parent. Yeah, I'm a bad parent and I suck at co-parenting. While I know it bothers me for now, I know I will get over it. I've gotten over everything else in my life, I think I'll be fine after this too.
On another note, work is slow and stupid today. They sent out an email about a mandatory meeting and then after I worried and rearranged peoples schedules and finally got a babysitter, ooh it isn't mandatory for 2nd and 3rd shifts. Ughhhhhhh. Seriously people? I'm now coming to that meeting and you're buying me breakfast and I'm showing up in my sweatpants AND you're paying me for all my trouble. I swear this place is a mess. If I didn't love my job, I'd totally be looking for something else. Not like there is much out there. Well, nothing I can tolerate. I love my patients and I love research. Guess it just means I'm stuck with these crazy people I work with who can't make up their minds to save the world.
The weekend went really well. I had dinner with the girls. It started out with three of us originally but its grown to five next time. I didn't know how badly I needed it. I realized with these women who have known me my whole life, I can really and truly be myself. Which, if you think about it, it is a sad statement. Wearing different hats in different areas of my life is exhausting. At home, I have to keep my attitude and real self in check. I love the F word and I can't even drop that bomb at home. Not within earshot of the four year old of course, but still. Work, I just have to roll with the punches and try not to get mad that they are the crazy ones and should probably be in our studies. Everywhere else, I'm somebody else. I'm exhausted.
So I got to recharge this weekend and hang out with friends. It was so good for my soul. Now It's Monday and it's back to the grind. I've just been tying to cope with everything in my life. I've been reevaluating everything and trying to figure out what I want out of life and should I go or stay. I always think about this but to be honest, I never leave. I'm too afraid of breaking my daughters heart. Probably my own too. I like my home and my life for the most part. I guess you could say I've become accustomed to it. So whats the point? Who really needs complete and utter happiness?
I'll get over that too.
Eventually it leads to him cussing at me and calling me a bad parent. Yeah, I'm a bad parent and I suck at co-parenting. While I know it bothers me for now, I know I will get over it. I've gotten over everything else in my life, I think I'll be fine after this too.
On another note, work is slow and stupid today. They sent out an email about a mandatory meeting and then after I worried and rearranged peoples schedules and finally got a babysitter, ooh it isn't mandatory for 2nd and 3rd shifts. Ughhhhhhh. Seriously people? I'm now coming to that meeting and you're buying me breakfast and I'm showing up in my sweatpants AND you're paying me for all my trouble. I swear this place is a mess. If I didn't love my job, I'd totally be looking for something else. Not like there is much out there. Well, nothing I can tolerate. I love my patients and I love research. Guess it just means I'm stuck with these crazy people I work with who can't make up their minds to save the world.
The weekend went really well. I had dinner with the girls. It started out with three of us originally but its grown to five next time. I didn't know how badly I needed it. I realized with these women who have known me my whole life, I can really and truly be myself. Which, if you think about it, it is a sad statement. Wearing different hats in different areas of my life is exhausting. At home, I have to keep my attitude and real self in check. I love the F word and I can't even drop that bomb at home. Not within earshot of the four year old of course, but still. Work, I just have to roll with the punches and try not to get mad that they are the crazy ones and should probably be in our studies. Everywhere else, I'm somebody else. I'm exhausted.
So I got to recharge this weekend and hang out with friends. It was so good for my soul. Now It's Monday and it's back to the grind. I've just been tying to cope with everything in my life. I've been reevaluating everything and trying to figure out what I want out of life and should I go or stay. I always think about this but to be honest, I never leave. I'm too afraid of breaking my daughters heart. Probably my own too. I like my home and my life for the most part. I guess you could say I've become accustomed to it. So whats the point? Who really needs complete and utter happiness?
I'll get over that too.
No comments:
Post a Comment